Is enough ever really enough?

Summer is approaching, clothing is becoming tighter and in some cases, clothing is removed almost entirely. It is also the time of year that gay men can begin to show off those glistening winter muscles so much easier. In other words, the smell of sex permeates the air~in Seoul, that is a great feat as there are some serious smells with which to compete. As the smell of sex fills the air, you can just imagine the smells that are being whiffed behind closed doors. The smell of latex and rubber and leather and that does not evening begin to get into substances and the smells naturally coming from the body. With all of these items used in some gay men’s sexploitations, one begins to wonder. Is enough really ever enough?

As I am still relatively new to the gay scene and my experiences are still far more limited than anyone else I know, both sexually and socially. Maybe there is a subset of gay men who have had so much experience that nothing satisfies them anymore. I suspect these are also the men who have their unlimited amounts of toys, their cockrings, their poppers and their bareback sex parties....all I can say on that topic is, “There but for the grace of God go I”. I won’t judge, but, it is simply not ‘my thing’. Not yet, but, who knows what will come one day.

Are these sexual practices what every gay man has to look forward to as middle and old age approach? What makes gay men feel that it is acceptable to participate in such things as bareback parties? I often wonder what happened in between the time that nervousness found two young men fumbling around in the dark to one of those same men, a little older and far more experienced in a room filled with 20 or more strange, naked men; ready to penetrate or be penetrated by anyone willing and able.

As I look through profiles on gay websites, I read about people listing sexual practices such as: Anal, autoasphyxiation, Bondage, CBT, Exhibitionists, Fisting, Groups, Kissing, Masters & Dogs, Masters & Slaves, Oral, Outdoor, Outdoor Sex, S&M, Sauna/Bath Houses, Shaving, Spanking, Threesomes, Vacuum Pumping, Vanilla, Verbal/Gob, Watersports. I am not lying when I say that these interests were from one guy’s profile and one guy only. Where does it all end? How does one decide to try autoasphyxiation, for example? How can one list watersports and vanilla sex both as sexual interests?
Perhaps I am a prude or a romantic or maybe I am simply naive, but is all of this necessary? Gay men are risking their lives, their pride and their dignity all in the name of sex. Why? Do the straight people of the world have it right? Get married, the sex wears off and eventually one of them may decide to have an affair. How many straight men, when cheating or even as single men, are actually participating in a fraction of similar sexually ‘avante garde’ practices as gay men? I would imagine very very few. So, why are gay men participating in these sexual acts? How long will they do so? And more importantly what sexual activity will be the limit for a man into autoasphyxiation? When does he finally say enough is enough?
(summer '07)